Why cheaters blame you

Big life changes are often catalysts for cheating. If they're working too hard or their needs are going unmet, and they feel all they do is sacrifice for others, they may end up having an affair to satisfy some unmet desires "because they deserve it. Whatever the reason for the affair, it's important to note that while both partners may have contributed in some degree, there is a lesson to be learned and an opportunity to understand, mend, forgive and heal.

And if desired by both of you, it's even possible that your relationship can be better after an affair if you both do the necessary deep work as a couple and individually. Even if it's too late and the relationship can't be mended, or if you're already divorced, to successfully move on and take control of your life back, it's important to own what happened, learn the lessons of what went wrong, and then forgive your partner and yourself for whatever events lead to the affair.

They had been having an affair for two years before I found out. The two people I loved and trusted the most betrayed me.

I'm still devastated. I'm not sure I'll ever trust again yet alone forgive. Getting past the pain of betrayal can be difficult and forgiveness can seem impossible. I've seen friends in this situation - locked in an endless well of bitterness, hurt and blame that's left them untrusting, depressed and lonely.

Some remained single for years after a breakup, unhappy and convinced that there were "no good people" out there. You made the situation worse by your actions! Drunk or not u are responsible for your actions and are ovyously suffering consequences for them if u have to go to an online forum for validation.

Hope u learned a lesson. My husband had an online affair with a woman from a strip room. I found out that it was going on again in Oct I have since come to find out that it really never stopped -slowed for a bit.

He refuses counseling. Arlen, he is a coward, a manipulator and will continue to lie to you because he is a selfish child.

I lived with a cheater for twenty one years and never felt loved or respected. I regret giving him the best years of my life. Cheating is inexcusable. Someone who cheats is breaking their promise. They lied and they lied about the lie. A relationship requires strength, but it should be a natural strength. Especially like that. I comment to myself and move on. Whether or not you want to end the relationship or seek therapy, make sure to teach them their ABCs first.

And never blame yourself. You are NOT responsible. You are NOT their parent. Although we need not take responsibility for our partners actions, there is always something to learn from the experience. We need not concern ourselves with the feelings of people who sleep with married men. They are co-conspirators to abuse. I love how you have helped me in my battle. Thank you very much for this article.

It has helped me a lot in dealing with my problems. My wife cheated, not once, but four times, keeping it a secret over two decades. When i found out she pleaded the it was because of issues from her childhood etc, how she deeply regretted it but had never been able to confront it. After a lot of therapy we patched things up, i was very wary. Yet admit all this, they will play the loving partner to your face.

I just wanted her out of my life forever. He got a secret phone both times. When I caught him the second time with the same girl he blamed me.

Said I was mean to him during my marriage and told her all of our business. I might have taken him back lol not but once he blamed me I was done. I truly like reading your post. Thank you so much for taking the time to share such a piece of nice information. Keep up the good work! About the Author: Suzy Brown. Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce.

Related Posts. August 25th, 0 Comments. June 14th, 1 Comment. What cheaters tend to forget in the heat of the moment, especially when their partner is expressing anger or some other strong emotion, is that their choice to cheat was theirs and theirs alone. Nothing your partner did or did not do forced you into cheating. Your partner is in pain and behaving exactly the way a traumatized partner typically behaves.

So blaming your partner for your current predicament is ridiculous. The cheater bears the responsibility for cheating. Generally, cheaters should get the blame for their philandering. Sometimes, things are not as black and white as we like to view them as.

Pondering ScoopnFest. Joint responsibility for cheating. We would love to hear what you think about the content on Pulse Give us your feedback.

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