How does one become courageous

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You can show love in many ways, and finding the courage to show this love can open up a world of possibilities.

Love fuels collaboration and gives people the courage to seek more and be more. Try something new at dinner. We tend to eat the same meals over and over, and we find comfort in doing so.

The longer your brain has to come up with excuses for not being courageous, the more time you will have to panic about hypothetical negative outcomes. If you are in a situation where you have to pick up a spider, jump out of an airplane, or ask someone on a date, do it without hesitation if you're going to do it at all. Reinforce your successes by giving yourself a reward when you do deal with your fear.

This could be a physical treat, like a nice bottle of wine, or a mental treat, like taking a break from human interaction and binge-watching a show on Netflix. Learn to be mindful. Being mindful is when you are fully present in the current moment. Mindfulness can help change your brain to deal with fear in a more effective manner. You have to give yourself time to learn this skill and it takes practice. Find a quiet place and sit comfortably. You can meditate on the bus, at an airport, or any busy place, but it is best to start by learning in a quiet place with few distractions.

Close your eyes and focus on your breathing thinking "in" when you breathe in and "out" when you breathe out can help with that focus. Do this for twenty minutes. Be aware of the moment and of your sensations. If you do find yourself becoming distracted with other thoughts, direct your attention back to your breathing.

When you do find yourself overwhelmed by fear, using the practices learned from meditation and mindfulness can help you overcome. Focus on your breathing and take deep breaths. Allow yourself to feel the negative emotions, but label them as emotions you are having for example: if you are thinking, "I am afraid," rephrase it as, "I am having a thought that I am afraid.

It's a subtle distinction, but one that helps you not to be ruled by your thoughts. Visualizing your mind as the sky and your emotions, both positive and negative, as clouds passing across the surface of the sky can help you see them as being a part of you, but not dictating your life. Get outside your comfort zone. Stepping outside your comfort zone may cause anxiety, but it's a great way to learn courage. Learning to deal with that fear, in a situation you have chosen, can help you perform courageously when the unexpected happens.

Start small. Start with the actions that induce less fear and require less courage to accomplish. So, send a friend request on Facebook to that girl you like, or have a small conversation with the person behind the register before moving on to asking someone out. There are certain things that we just cannot do. Maybe you absolutely can't pick up that spider, come out to your homophobic boss, or go skydiving.

That's okay. Sometimes these are fears or limitations that can be worked up to and sometimes they aren't. Sometimes it is highly adaptive not to be courageous; it may not make sense to do something you can't get yourself to do. Focus on building your courage for other things, like putting a glass over the spider so someone else can take care of it, or coming out to your parents instead of your homophobic boss.

Build confidence. Having confidence allows you to trust in your abilities and yourself, and realize that you are more than your fears. When you have confidence in yourself you will find it easier to take courageous action. Learning to have confidence takes practice. You can trick your mind into confidence by pretending that you are confident. Tell yourself you can ask that girl you like on a date and, whatever she says, you won't care much.

You can also expand your posture and actually feel more confident and powerful. Don't let your failures or limitations dictate who you are. Failure simply means that you are trying; it is something to learn from, not to avoid. Make sure to remind yourself that your failures do not define you unless you let them.

Have faith in yourself. Courage involves trusting yourself and believing in yourself. Tell yourself that you have something to offer. Remember arrogance and confidence are different. Usually, we think of habits as actions, like brushing your teeth or exercising. But habits also consist of our behavioral responses to different emotions.

For many people, fear-based responses are the natural, habitual response to adversity, because our brains tend to seek the fastest, most efficient way to relieve stress when we feel it. That means we rely on solutions that have provided short-term stress relief in the past—like procrastinating in response to feelings of self-doubt, or putting perfectionism into overdrive which eventually ends up sabotaging us through burnout.

How do you manage fear differently? Drawing from research on habit formation and stress reduction—and my own work with clients facing fear—I have discovered four useful strategies for dealing with fear and moving closer to courage.

Fear shows up in the body, often as sweaty palms, a sick-feeling stomach, or a vague sense of discomfort. Once our bodies head into fear mode, we need a way to recognize the signs and work with what the feelings are telling us.

A body-based practice can help. In fact, in some ways fear is healthy. For instance, fear triggers your nervous system and your survival instincts that are designed to keep you safe.

For this reason, you might feel fearful when approached by a stranger in a dark alley or you might feel fearful during a tornado. Instead of assuming that being fearful is a bad thing, look at it as an opportunity to learn more about who you are and why you might be afraid or less than thrilled about stepping out of your comfort zone. You might find that if you take the time to name your fear and understand why it's there, that you will uncover a better idea of how to overcome it or be courageous in spite of it.

In fact, research shows that putting your feelings into words helps curb your negative responses to fear. Instead, it makes you brave. After all, it is not easy to acknowledge where you are vulnerable.

So, if you are able to acknowledge your fears, you're one step closer to being courageous. Consequently, rather than minimizing your fear or denying that it exists, recognize what is holding you back. By acknowledging your fear—either by writing it down or by sharing it with a supportive person—you are empowering yourself to be courageous in spite of feeling fearful.

When it comes to living a life filled with courage, it helps to begin by identifying what you're good at as well as where you have been successful. In fact, research shows that people who recognize and develop their strengths not only feel happier and less depressed but are also more resilient.

Additionally, knowing what you're good at helps boost your confidence, which makes it more likely you will take risks and be courageous.

Likewise, when you're confident in your abilities, you're much more willing to go all-in when an opportunity presents itself. What's more, when you are struggling with fear and want to incorporate more courage in your life, it's natural to focus on your shortcomings and your weaknesses. But, doing this just makes it less likely that you will feel courageous. For this reason, it's important to think about what you're good at as a way of building your confidence and your courage.

When it comes to being courageous, it's helpful to imagine not only the worst thing that could happen if you take a risk but also what would happen if you didn't act at all. Many times, comparing the two extremes is all you need to move beyond your fears because most of the time, the worst thing that could happen is often minimal in comparison to what you could gain by acting.

If you regularly use comparisons like these, you will build an immunity to letting your fears control you over time. Additionally, you can create scenarios where you envision yourself doing something that you're afraid of. Imagine how you will handle each possible scenario including how you might respond or what you might say.

These exercises are a way for you to practice being courageous without having to put yourself out there until you feel ready. When you let fear keep you from doing something fun, going after something you want, or expressing who you are at your core, it can result in a life that is not truly lived.

And if you want to change that aspect of your life, it's going to take being intentional about your life. Building your courage muscles requires that you push yourself to step outside of your comfort zone. Consequently, choose some scenarios that make you uncomfortable, but where the stakes are not as high. In other words, practice being courageous by overcoming little fears like meeting new people or eating alone in a restaurant before you tackle something like taking the lead on a project or heading up your community's toy drive.

By starting small, you can get used to being courageous without a lot of risks at first. Eventually, you will get to the point where you can take bigger risks. Sometimes people experience fear or feel like they lack courage simply because they are exhausted and the thought of doing anything more just seems too overwhelming. If you find that you're feeling overwhelmed, frazzled, or bogged down, look for ways to relieve stress.

It's hard to feel courageous when you are stressed out.